Do you need help figuring out what to write to your crush, lover, friend, enemy, or grandma? At Cat People Press, we LOVE correspondence and would be happy to give you a shot of inspiration for your next analog interface!
And since you’re reading our blog, we’ll assume you love cats as much as we do, so you won’t mind that every suggestion includes our furry feline friends!
CRUSHES + LOVERS
(Let’s be honest, after you send your crush a Cat People Press card with one of these prompts, they will be your lover!)
3. Write them a poem comparing them to a kitten.
“Your little mew makes
My hopeful heart throb and quake
May I pet your fur?”
4. Pretend you are a cat and describe how you would like your crush/lover to pet you. NSFW
FRIENDS + FAMILY (aka, Grandma)
1. Tell them a funny or sad story about your cat(s) with pictures you draw yourself. Any of our Jungle Cat cards would work splendidly for this! We even sell them in a 6-pack.
2. Take on the persona of one of your cats and describe current events or some other public thing of which you feel strongly.
“It’s terrible, meow. As I was sitting on the front porch, doing my morning cleaning of my back left paw, I saw the picture of an orange cheeto on the front page of the newspaper as it landed in the human’s flower pot.”
4. Include felted balls of cat fur with the card and ask them to guess who it came from. This is done with the assumption that whomever you’re sending the felted fur has had an intimate relationship with said cat, so they have a fair chance at guessing.
1. Write them a poem comparing them to a dog.
“Please dog, stop barking
No one cares, they just wish you
Would stop eating shit.”
2. Describe in detail the ways in which your cats use their claws to scratch and destroy your furniture.
“At this point, Fluffy went to the corner of the green couch, stretched out her full height, and slowly drug her claws down the upholstery while simultaneously kneading her claws. I wonder what that would feel like on your face?”
3. Leave a card in the litter box for a couple days and send it to them without writing anything. This card will help alleviate any mixed messages.
4. Take on the persona of one of your cats, describe all of your enemy’s vulnerable points, sign it as your cat, smile, send it. Consider using a USPS Disney Villains stamp.